Meeting Notes from The First Jam Cellar Town Hall Meeting

As an organizer for our infamous weekly DC swing dance, The Jam Cellar, we held a Town Hall Meeting last week with our community to ask them their opinion on our education, atmosphere, and music. Here are the notes from said meeting, in case you were looking to hold your own at your own local swing dance.

Notes from Last Week’s Town Hall Meeting

9:00 –Refreshment table is set up before the Free 9 p.m. beginner lesson is to take place. Following which will be the meeting.

9:30–Meeting set to begin. Refreshment table includes fruit, but no cookies, Cran-Apple juice, but no coke. Salsa, but no Fritos. Free beginner class students suspected.

9:40–We finally decide to start meeting once Jam cellar organizers are outnumbered by people attending meeting.

9:42–Introductions made, Bobby makes welcoming error by asking the awkward guy just what the hell he’s doing coming to the public meeting.

9:43–From the beginning, Andy Reid assumes Bad Cop role, Lee Tucker assumes Good Cop role, Kate Hedin assumes corrupt drug-trafficking cop role, Gretta Thorn assumes maternal role, Jeff Booth assumes absent father role, and Bobby White assume the police chief from the Police Academy Movies role. Jerry Almonte stands in a corner, listening intently and saying “hmm” a lot.

9:46–Beginning with the topic of education, the Jam Cellar, with the help of the community, discusses the rampant problems of juggling the high population of inner-city public schools. Session concludes that the ultimate problem is the stupid among the world far outnumber the wise.

9:53–The far-reaching scope of the conclusion hits home with each person individually, and the meeting spends roughly four minutes in silence.

9:57–Andy Reid says “balls.”

9:59–The Jam Cellar Organizers explain why we don’t have birthday dances, snowball dances, and why the annual Polka Contest was canceled.

10:10– The salsa incident happens. Andy Reid rushed to the hospital.

10:35–Doctor gives us the go-ahead to visit Andy, and conclude the meeting there. We cram into his tiny room and give him the plant someone stole on the way out of the Jam Cellar.

10:41–We begin to discuss the different roles of organizers and advanced dancers in a swing community.

10:42–Jerry Almonte stands in a corner, smiling wryly.

10:46–Meeting flow is slightly interrupted when a Jam Cellar community member accidentally unplugs Andy’s respirator.

10:47–Jam Cellar community member makes a salsa pun. We all have a good laugh, except for Andy, who looks coldly at Lee.

10:50– Meeting forced back on track to the discussion of advanced dancer’s roles in a community.

10:53–Gretta drops the F-bomb when discussing wedding dress shopping.

11:14–Andy’s hospital room-mate chimes in, suggesting that, though advanced dancers should realize they make beginning dancers better and happier, putting a sense of obligation to someone’s hobby would be off-putting to anyone. And beginning dancers should realize that some advanced dancers are simply mean people, and those dancers should not be given another thought. He concludes by asking Andy if he’s got any crank.

11:32–In discussing the success of the music at The Jam Cellar, Gretta drops the C-bomb, the P-bomb, and the Q-Bomb.

11:40–Bobby concludes on the note that the meeting’s main goal was to have everyone feel like Jam Cellar was more of a community, hopefully convincing people well enough to disguise the meeting’s real goal of getting more volunteers.

11:41–Jerry Almonte stands in a corner, nodding knowingly.

11:53–Meeting members all return upstairs to the Jam Cellar, where DJ Allen Kerr, in front of an empty dance floor, weeps.

11:55–The Salsa Incident story is told to Allen, complete with full-body reenactment action, even the part with the roller chair. Allen cheers up and plays one last incredible song.

The next town hall meeting will take place in six months.