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How to Move Forward & Create Safe Dance Spaces

January 28, 2015

A follow-up on the recent sexual abuse discussion ongiong in the Lindy Hop community:

A couple nights ago Nicole Zuckerman, Manu Smith, Gina Helfrich, Rik Panganiban, Rebecca Brightly, Jerry Almonte Mikey Pedroza and I sat down to discuss how to move forward. It was at a time when several of us were in different phases of being hit by this (yours truly suddenly felt like he couldn’t say a complete sentence right) and the result is an honest conversation about what this all means.

Yes, I think many things are very well said and you could get something out of it. For me, while trying to pay attention to the conversation and formulate my own thoughts for addition, I unexpectedly and unknowingly went through a part of the grieving/anger/confusion/self-reflection process simply by seeing the faces and hearing the voices of my peers who are going through their own experiences as well. And that’s another possible reason to watch it; I imagine the same will happen to some viewers.

I want to thank those on the panel for the ways they contributed to the discussion. I love it that our community values intelligent and passionate people like those speaking so well in this conversation. (From what I understand of “The Jersey Shore,” for instance, not all communities do.)

17 Comments leave one →
  1. January 28, 2015 9:06 pm

    The Swing Teams and Swing Club associated with Utah State University have addressed this issue to ensure the safety of all dancers. We take this matter very seriously and we urge that everyone else does the same. We have had a more local issue similar to the harassment that has been publicly addressed recently. To prevent and stop harassment of any sort, we have re-stated what standards we hold everyone in our venues to.

    Our action we plan to take is to talk about this in all our University dance classes, hosted events, and dance teams. We will also raise awareness in our community by hosted fundraiser dances for our local non-profit dedicated to helping victims of domestic violence and sexual harassment.

    What else can we add to our action plan for our small community? How can we keep this plan going? I would love to see dance scenes big and small come together to keep this moving forward!

    http://goo.gl/pgUpnj

  2. January 28, 2015 10:52 pm

    This is an excellent discussion, which is long overdue. Thanks so much for taking the time to record and post it!
    Here in Australia, we’ve had a lot of pondering lately about how to create safe dance spaces (for the blues scene- but applies to lindy too!) A few months ago, I wrote an essay on safe dance spaces for a weekender we’re running. I leave it here, to add to the discussion.
    http://www.ciderhouseblues.com/2014/11/23/autonomy-and-consent-in-blues-dance/

    • January 29, 2015 7:46 pm

      I really love the closing line “If you need anything, if you have concerns, if you feel uncomfortable. We’ll listen and take you seriously.”

      I feel like this needs to be said multiple times. Sometimes people just don’t know who to turn to. In uncomfortable situations I just leave and don’t come back, when instead it should be taken care of so it doesn’t happen to anyone else!

  3. January 28, 2015 11:31 pm

    Thank you for this. If you ever decide to have a similar chat with event organizers, I’m in!

  4. Sarah permalink
    January 29, 2015 1:46 am

    One thing that comes up often in these discussions is the idea that people have the right to say no (to dances or whatever else). While I agree with this, I wonder if maybe just saying this isn’t quite enough. What if classes–series generally, but especially the intro classes before larger dances–included just a minute or so of practice in this? Maybe just have people pair off, one asks the other to dance, the other says, “no, thank you,” and the asker responds by saying, “okay.”

    The obvious benefit would be that getting the opportunity to practice saying no in a safe space would help prepare people to do it in situations where they genuinely might be uncomfortable.

    The less obvious but oddly more important benefit would be that people would have the opportunity to practice *responding* to no. This is where the community could start to create a unified stance that a flat-out “no” is sufficient–that the asker should accept it graciously and move on to another potential partner, not follow up with “why not?” or do anything else that might create a situation of discomfort or pressure. If the culture becomes one where “no” is known to be sufficient, then everyone might feel safer sticking up for their own rights (and others’) to say “no” and have that be respected.

  5. Natasja Essers permalink
    January 29, 2015 10:02 am

    For about five years now I am part of the lindy-hop scene, in the Netherlands. And always when I tell people outside the scene about it, after explaining first what lindy-hop actually means, I tell them enthousiasticly how great and full of respect our scene is. For about fifteen years I was into the salsascene and however there’s a lot of people in that scene too that are gentle and full of respect towards eachother and specificly towards women, there’s also far more ‘trying’ of men to touch women in a way that is different than just for dancing. I never ever experienced something like that in the lindy-hop/balboascene. I feel that our scene in the Netherlands and the few places I’ve been to in Europe is completely safe.

    And now that I followed last week what is happening In the USA, I feel confused. I just can’t imagine these kind of behavior is happening in the lindy-hop scene. Was I blind? Are things like this happening in Holland or Europe too? Or is our community different? And if so, how come?

    Maybe I am just not long enough a member of the scene to oversee the situation. And I wonder what the experiences are of people that are much longer in the scene (in the Netherlands or elsewhere in Europe) than me, especially our teachers. Is this news also confusing them?

    Anyhow, I wish all of you who are involved in this and feel sad and confused (especially those who are a victim) all the love and wisdom to deal with it. Very good initiative, this open discussion/conversation how t deal with it!

    • European permalink
      January 30, 2015 4:47 pm

      @Natasja: I don’t think you’re blind. I have yet to experience your scene in Holland, but I feel exactly the same about the scene here in Copenhagen. I’m a guy, but have had a girlfriend that dances, and the problem of creepy leads (or follows :-) is very small here. I think the fact that we don’t really have much social-dancing at bar-type venues on evenings with drop-in classes before makes a difference. Or maybe because, as you mention, that those types of guys frequent the salsa community instead, I don’t know. This may be more of an issue in the US or elsewhere, or (probably) there is just a lot of hyberbole going around.

      Wrt. Steven (and other cases of anonymous guys being mentioned in the 450+ comment thread on Sarah’s original post) it highlights the huge difference in attitude towards sex on different sides of the pond. In some of the cases, there are clear cases of sexual assult, but not in others, and many of the comments seem to imply that 18+ year old women are children that needs protection from “players” that use their star status to get laid.

      • Rebecca C. permalink
        February 6, 2015 5:59 pm

        WRT treating 18+ yo women as children, no. However, there is an understanding here in the U.S. that there is ethically and perhaps statutorily a second category of protected persons: people with less power than the person assaulting them. Examples are teacher/student, employer/employee, and mentor/mentee. The law recognizes that sometimes, even though both people are legally old enough to consent to sex, one may be under undue pressure to agree to acts or to passively allow these acts to happen because the other has authority over an important area of their life.

        WRT the original story, Sarah (?) was 15 or 16 when the grooming starrted. Old enough to consent to sex with someone in her peer group at school, perhaps, but not a significantly older adult.

  6. Martin permalink
    January 29, 2015 7:41 pm

    If you encounter a local sexual abuse problem call the local police. Let the perp know you mean business. Dial 911. Keep a copy of contact information for the embassy when traveling abroad. Check in with them. Always keep an out or escape if it means sleeping on a park bench so be it. Keep mace and or pepper spray. A kick in the groin will deter many an assailant. Also screaming or crying out is necessary as to inform ALL that unwanted attention is being administered. Leave the room, if that does not work leave the residence. Be wary of all food and drink. Eat and drink small amounts. Use your gut. Let love ones know where you are. Use common sense. Inform the organizers of the event of your experience.

  7. Philip Mertz permalink
    January 31, 2015 8:59 am

    Here is a nomination for consideration.

    Ambush engagement proposals at swing events.

    Event organizers, MCs, DJs, band leaders, photographers: don’t be complicit in that. There is almost no room for a no. It makes everybody in the room an involuntary accomplice.

  8. Yet another European permalink
    February 8, 2015 11:00 am

    With all that has happened and been said. This shouldn’t be a wrong that Lindy community should right.

    What is next? Lindy police? Are we to keep records of every person that shows up on a dance floor?

    Maybe you should reflect for a while on all that happened and not make some hasty decisions just to pacify your own mind.

    • Rebecca C. permalink
      February 14, 2015 3:55 pm

      Reflected for a while, and wow. I didn’t know making teens and women feel comfortable on the dance floor was “Lindy policing”. Sexism and the perception of men that they have access to women’s space-time (teens and adults) regardless of an individual woman’s wishes is not exclusive to Lindy, or to dance in general. However, if that sort of person is going to hunt in the Lindy community, yes, it’s a wrong of which the Lindy community should be aware. It’s a problem the Lindy community should fix because–speaking as a beginner–it scares us off. We’ve encountered it in other areas of our life, and maybe we just want to enjoy a fun, social, athletic activity with people who won’t shut us down when we point out that a predator is a predator is that guy everyone thinks is a good dancer, and he won’t take no for an answer.

  9. Both Liberty and Legality permalink
    March 24, 2015 8:28 pm

    Bobby makes a great point about the liabilities of having counseling available at a safe space. If someone’s in a bad situation, the person they go to should be qualified to help; and offenders should not be protected by the Lindy Hop scene–assault is assault, and if someone needs to call the police, so be it. We don’t want the police to be on deck, as it were, at events, and we don’t want to do rigorous background checks on all attendees; but if somebody’s committing a crime, they should answer to the law.

  10. April 5, 2016 12:31 pm

    Many cities have a Salsa website with resources to help you learn to dance in your local area. If you can’t locate one, contact a Salsa People – A leading dance school in Zurich.

Trackbacks

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