At the very beginning of April I got a approached by Nike. (Technically, their helicopter stopped by. But I don’t have time to get into it, I’m trying to write shorter posts.)
“Bobby,” they said. “Sorry— Mr. White. You, You’re LEGENDARY. Your Balboa? Come on. Your role in NYC Lindy Hop performance groups? Incredible. Your blog? I mean, DAMN. Now then. We’re going to cut straight to the edge cause we know you’re a busy man, you don’t have time for bull. Especially these days. Here’s the slice — over the years, we at Nike have had the world’s greatest athlete design a shoe. Been there, done that. Blah blah blah Air Jordans, whatever, who cares. Then we went the artistic route and had Kanye do his — he owns a rhinoceros, by the way. Keeps it in a penthouse in the Upper East Side. But I’m telling you straight. He’s just a stop on the destination — the destination to YOU. Want another Macallan 95?”
I accept and he hands me the bottle.
“Just keep it. You see, we were thinking…” He leaned forward. “It’s time to do both. BAM. Artist, AND athlete. But not too much of an athlete — people can’t relate to the Salenas and the Lebrons, they spend too much time at the gym. And, sure, I know what you’re thinking, we could ask any number of incredible dancers — You’re too humble. Christine, isn’t this guy too humble? But get this. We don’t just want an athlete and an artist, but ALSO a history lover who writes really long blog posts about it.” He leaned forward. His glass was shaking. “We need Bobby White.”
Christine put her hand on my shoulder. “You’re the future of athletic fashion.”
“Well,” I say, non-comitally, “Nike do fit my narrow feet well.” Eyes brightened, white-tooth smiles. “But I was kind of hoping for Keds to offer—“
At this point he actually got onto his knees and it was a little embarrassing so I’ll just say that after some hardball deal-making and long design sessions, I present to you, the official Air Swungvoer. I insisted on using the Nike Air Force 1 as the base, who’s signature all-white sneaker was called the “Harlem” and which was reminiscent of the white Keds-style sneakers the Lindy Hoppers of the past had worn.
Starting price is only $4,999.00 (I talked them down quite a lot, cause I didn’t want the shoes to be too inaccessible.)
Now, you COULD go on the NIKE website and customize your own pair to look exactly like this for only $120, but we strongly urge you to purchase the official Air Swungovers to help support artists like myself. ($1 of each sale will be distributed to artists across America who have been out of work during the Pandemic. #payingitforward)
I’ll send a link here once they officially release in October, though I think Nike told me that sneaker bots have somehow already bought out the entire run until 2025.
4 responses to “Introducing: The Air Swungover”
For a fantastic story, I think you deserve every pair purchased. Erm, I’ve got some perfectly good trainers already but when they are worn out I shall, of course, purchase those very reasonably priced footwares from the USA. The import tax is but a piffling matter when buying a unique, one-off product. I wish you well in your new sponsorship deal.
$4,999.99? Is this a typo?
Nope, it’s not a typo. But it IS kind of a belated April Fool’s Joke. These shoes are just from the Nike Customize-your-own Shoes site. Though, I really like them, so I just might get me a pair…but just for $120, not $5000.
For just $120 I wouldn’t consider them – I need to brag about my bling I’m afraid